I’m speaking this Sunday at the first-ever Baccalaureate service for one of our area high schools. Good times. For my spring board, I’m using the following introduction, taken from Charles Sykes:

  1. Life is not fair- put on your big girl panties and get over it!
  2. The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
  3. You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t become a vice-president with a corner office until you earn both.
  4. If you think Mrs. Bradley is tough, wait till you get a boss.
  5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents
    had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
  6. If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Besides, your boss doesn’t speak WHINESE.
  7. Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are
    now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes
    and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So
    before you save the rain forest, try cleaning up your own room.
  8. Some schools may have done away with winners and losers, but
    life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and
    they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
    This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
  9. Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
  10. Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to their jobs.
  11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

It’s an excerpt from the book “Dumbing Down our Kids” by educator Charles Sykes. It is a list of eleven things you did not learn in school and directed at high school and college grads.

By the way….the ‘big girl panties’ line is mine, not Mr. Sykes….don’t want to get him in trouble…