OK…now I'm forced to add a new category to my blog. File this under Stupid Theology. (The first of many, I'm sure…)

Step One: Beginning in the Garden, God begins telling us who He is: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Step Two: A plethora of pansy, politically-correct liberals [case-in-point: Presbyterian Church (USA)] aren't comfortable in their gender-confused world.

Step Three: They decide to change the Holy Trinity into non-gender specific roles to "Mother, Child and Womb" and "Rock, Redeemer, Friend". 

Yes, God is our Rock.

Yes, Jesus is our Redeemer.

And, yes, The Holy Spirit, can be described as a friend (if you define 'friend' as that nagging voice that convicts you of sin…albiet a sometimes irritating friend, for Whom I am grateful.)

But, seriously. Driscoll says they've taken the action because of a new found chunk of time on their hands, since no one is really going to their church anymore.

He also suggests, that "if the committee is still taking suggestions, maybe we could call God one of the following:

  • Rock, Paper, Scissors
  • Larry, Curly, Moe
  • Beast, False Prophet, Antichrist
  • Chocolate, Peanut, Nougat
  • Judas, Herod, Pharaoh
  • Fastball, Curveball, Changeup
  • Momma Bear, Poppa Bear, Baby Bear

And maybe we could start calling mainline Protestant pastors who despise God’s Word something new and compile a new series of title options for them, too, such as:

  • Heretics
  • Nutjobs
  • Wingnuts
  • Tools
  • Kindling"

All apologies to Christians out there who are confused by this load of guano. And to Our Father for further muddying the waters of who His Word says He is as He relates to us, His children.

 Read the entire USA Today article.