Don't get your hopes up…nothing spiritual this morning, just a good chuckle. 

While preparing for our men's retreat this weekend, I ran across a list of why men are so cheerful: 

1.    Your last name stays put.

2.    The garage is all yours.

3.    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4.    Chocolate is just another snack.

5.    You can be president.

6.    You can wear a white T-shirt to a waterpark.

7.    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8.    The world is your urinal.

9.    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

10.    Same work, more pay.

11.    wrinkles add character.

12.    Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental $100.

13.    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

14.    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

15.    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

16.    One mood, ALL the time.

17.    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

18.    You know stuff about tanks.

19.    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

20.    You can open all your own jars.

21.    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22.    If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

23.    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

24.    If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

25.    Everything on your face stays its original color.

26.    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

27.    You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

28.    You almost never have strap problems in public.

29.    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

30.    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

31.    You don't have to shave below your neck.

32.    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

33.    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color all seasons.

34.    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

35.    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

36.    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes.

Next week, I'll post some more serious (and revised) thoughts on what it means to be a Godly man. I know we've discussed it a little in the past, but it's good to look back and see what the Spirit has refined thus far in the process of my understanding…

*DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by any of the above statements about men, go ahead and comment if it'll help you sleep better tonite..