OK….there’s a little secret to surving student ministry that I’ll let you in on. How do we survive the summer full of Beach Break, Camp 7.8, Mission Trips, Middle School Mondays, Road Trip Tuesdays, Overhaulin’ Wednesdays,  Wednesday morning staff Bible studies, Thursday night band practices…and still have some sanity left over for the wife and kids?

Caffeine Jello Shots.

It’s easy and fun for the whole family. So, from me to you, here’s an easy, how-to to get you through the last sprint of summer.

You’ll need the following ingredients:

  • Caffeine powder (can be bought as pure powder or made from ground up caffeine pills, but don’t be stupid—see dosages below)
  • Jello. I recommend multiple flavors so different colors can represent a certain ‘punch’.  (Cherry is a 50 mg punch, lemon is a 100mg, and lime is a whopping 200mgs of a sour kick-to-the-face goodness…)
  • Shot glasses. Of course, I’m Baptist and I don’t have any…so I’ll use  paper bathroom cups… (I guess Christmas is just around the corner…)

 

Steps To Survival:

  1. Decide on the caffeine dosage of your jello shots. Then determine how many caffeine pills you will need. A 6 oz Jello package makes about 30 shots, so figure how much caffeine you’re going to need total, and divide that by the amount of caffeine per pill, which is usually 200mg. (E.g. 30 shots at 50mg each = 1500mg total, divided by 200mg = 7.5 pills needed.)
     

    • 50mg- Mild energy rush. About equal to the caffeine in a can of cola.
    • 100mg- Enough energy for 80’s dance night. Equals about a 2 ounce espresso.
    • 200mg- Same dose as in 2.5 cans of Red Bull.
    • 300mg- Twitching starts. Jello shots begin to taste very bitter.
    • 400mg- Ingesting more than 400 mg of caffeine can be dangerous, with side effects including tremors, agitation, stomach ache, and irregular heartbeat. This means you could be stupid and die…trust me, the 100mg stage is plenty.

  2. Grind the caffeine pills with a mortar and pestle if available. Otherwise place the pills on a sheet of paper. Fold the paper in half, and go over it with a rolling pin or some other dense cylindrical object. Use moderate force so that you can crush them.Keep rolling until the powder  is smooth.

  3. Pour the ground up caffeine into a large bowl with the Jello powder, and mix thoroughly.
  4. Add the boiling water (follow the standard Jello recipe on the box for exact amount of water) and stir thoroughly. Keep stirring until all the caffeine has completely dissolved into the solution.
  5.  
  6. Finally, pour the solution evenly into 30 small glasses and refrigerate for a few hours until jiggly.

Now if I can just get my local Starbucks to start stocking these babies in the cooler next to their espresso brownies….