Fri 11 Jan 2008
If you know me well, you know I get really passionate about a few things. At the height of those things is a ‘moral gospel’. You know, a certain, arbitrary set of rules that determine your degree of holiness. The problem with that kind of gospel is that you always have someone who attains it…and leaves in their wake nothing but self righteousness and pride. Yet there is Paul, who says “I’m still not there yet…”
In Philippians 3 (from Part One) he says in verse 13, "I don’t consider myself to have attained it yet. But forgetting what is behind, I press on…" He says there is ‘one thing’ to do (of course, he then lists 3 things!) : forget, strain, and press. But as I read (and try to hang my life on it) it’s become apparent that there can always be things in our past that can make it difficult for us to pursue Jesus now. Things we’ve done. Periods of time in our life. Things we’ve been a part of. etc. But the good news is the life of Paul. If you rewind to Acts 7, you see Stephen preaching to the Sanhedrin when things get stirred. The crowd turns into an angry mob and decides to stone him (bludgeon him to death with big freakin’ rocks). Saul, who will become Paul in a few chapters, is there with teh jackets of the men at his feet. It’s almost as if tells the crowd, "Look, you can throw harder and faster if you let me hold your jacket…"
In Acts 9, it’s not just jackets anymore. While he is ’still breathing out murderous threats’ against the disciples, he goes to the high priest and offers to travel to Damascus and find anyone who is a follower of The Way, bring them back, strip them naked and have them paraded through town, beaten, humiliated, imprisoned and/or killed…’if you would just give me the word’. Saul is not taking orders from the high priest, but begging him for permission to round up and exterminate believers.
So it occurs to me: do you think there’s a possibility that years later when Paul writes ‘forgetting what is behind’…he’s writing about his own demons? His own shame and failure? (Shame is an pretty weighty thing we don’t easily forget…) for most of of us, we’ve got that ‘thing’ that we just can’t believe we did. Or were a part of. Or participated in. And we feel dirty. Guilty. Shameful. So we stuff it way down inside, and every time we draw near to Jesus, we remember that time. Or that thing. And it begins to define us. And Paul stands, saying ‘forget what is behind.’
In 1 Timothy 1, Paul says mercy, grace, and love was shown to him, an insolent, murdering blasphemer, so we could see the limitless patience of Christ. So when I feel guilty, shameful, my sin doesn’t seem to trump Paul…
Paul says to me, “So…what did you do? Did you kill anybody? Were they church people? Did you ever tie them up, strip them naked, beat, humiliate and parade them thru town and then kill ‘em? No…? So the cross can apply to me but not to you? Did I ever tell you about the time I held the jackets of men as they pelted God’s servant to death with rocks?”
Forgetting what is behind.
Forgetting what is behind.
Forgetting what is behind.
The problem is I can’t seem to remember to forget. Because I remember the things I did in rebellion to God. I remember how I persecuted believers. I remember when I was violent against those I had prejudice against. And it breaks my heart to remember what I did. How I acted. What I approved of.
There’s a beautiful moment in The Bourne Ultimatum. TreadStone black ops member Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) has suffered amnesia and is being chased by all kinds of interpol agents. He offers a girl $20,000 for a ride to Paris. She accepts and they spend hours in the car together on beautiful backroads. When they finally arrive at his flat, she comments, “I hope you don’t forget me.” Bewildered, he replies, “How could I forget you? You’re the only person I know.”
What if we forgot what was behind? What if Grace was the only person I knew? What if Mercy was the only person I could remember? What a wonderful time to forget. If only we could be free to forget.
(Part Three next week…)
7 Responses to “ Forgetting and Straining, Part Two ”
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January 11th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Not to sidetrack, but by the time you get to verse 12 after the preceding long, run-on thought by Paul, is it not the Resurrection from the Dead he has not attained? He is not perfected because there is no perfection short of that day. Nevertheless, he does present himself here (and in other places) as an example even within his imperfection.
Frankly, this passage strongly illustrates the biblical idea of “salvation” (a loaded and often poorly defined word) as a process or a journey. It is an ongoing action, not a static event. It is our process of moving forward becoming more like that which will one day be unveiled in full and doing so with all our confidence placed on the shoulders of Jesus of Nazareth.
I do think it is often evidenced in Paul’s writings that it was an earth-shattering shock to him to discover he was persecuting the very God he thought he was serving. I’m not as convinced he had as much angst over it as often depicted.
Nevertheless, it is certainly true that holding on to things in the past anchors us and can prevent us from moving forward. Sometimes it is the inflexible and unyielding iron chain of the ship, preventing us from taking another step. At other times it is more like a bungie cord. We fight forward, but are yanked back. But it is not just past failures which anchor us. Living in past success can anchor us. Dwelling in the past wrongs done to us will anchor us. Dwelling in the might-have-been will anchor us. We can and must learn from that which is behind, but having absorbed the lesson, we must also loose the ties if we are to progress.
I don’t have the same sort of past to anchor me. Talk of “failures” in the sense often meant with the present Christian culture have little traction on me. And possibly on the Christians in that Roman colony as well. But I certainly know the grip past wrongs you’ve experienced can have on you. I know the lure in the present of gods thought left behind. And I know the trap of regret, not as a “Christian”, but as a human being who has done wrong to people I loved.
January 11th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
” I’m not as convinced he had as much angst over it as often depicted.”
–yet another point where Paul and i differ. I’ve had great angst over it. :/
I think the nail on the head, so to speak, is a few of your last words that resonate with me. ” And I know the trap of regret, not as a “Christian”, but as a human being who has done wrong to people I loved.”
Isn’t that the essence of Christ’s coming and subsequent institution of His Kingdom? To make us more fully ‘human’–as he first created us to be? That perhaps every ’sin’ we commit is that of committing further damage to our humanity. and the humanity of others, as cracked eikons. (though a sidenote perhaps, it’s possibly worth mentioning…)
Of course, Paul’s ‘forgetting’ here in Phil 3 is not the same as when David writes (and others elsewhere) to ‘remember what the Lord has done’…Ps. 77:11, i think…
January 11th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
” I’m not as convinced he had as much angst over it as often depicted.”
–yet another point where Paul and i differ. I’ve had great angst over it. :/
I think the nail on the head, so to speak, is a few of your last words that resonate with me. ” And I know the trap of regret, not as a “Christian”, but as a human being who has done wrong to people I loved.”
Isn’t that the essence of Christ’s coming and subsequent institution of His Kingdom? To make us more fully ‘human’–as he first created us to be? That perhaps every ’sin’ we commit is that of committing further damage to our humanity. and the humanity of others, as cracked eikons. (though a sidenote perhaps, it’s possibly worth mentioning…)
Of course, Paul’s ‘forgetting’ here in Phil 3 is not the same as when David writes (and others elsewhere) to ‘remember what the Lord has done’…Ps. 77:11, i think…
January 16th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Those things from our past can either be used to hinder us from being all God wants us to be or to motivate us to be compassionate towards those who are still in their sin. Salvation is a daily, hourly progression, We aren’t suddenly perfect when we get saved (i wish)… but like Paul we run the race,,and finish it with “well done my good & faithful servant”.
January 16th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
craig,
you’re right, bro. God uses those things (if we let him…), and there are still days that i wish we were perfected immediately. Sometimes there are things in my past that still hinder me…and i have a hard time letting go. But those are the ways, I guess, that God reminds me to be compassionate and not judgemental. (Why does judgement come easier than compassion, i wonder…?)
January 17th, 2008 at 9:31 am
it’s a way to “protect” ourselves from others finding out our imperfections.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:53 am
yeah, you’re right.
we (me) hide our fear, shame, etc behind judgement…Brennan Manning calls it The Imposter. I think I’m a strange place in my life now–where I’m looking back and seeing areas in which used to respond with condemnation/judgement to certain things. Since then, God has (by his grace alone) changed some of those things. But there are still things there that have to be refined. Only this time they are more subtle, imo…
Geez, I still have such a long way to go. It’s frustrating, but it encourages me to look at Paul (and scott and craig and jimmie and stef and millersus and….) and see God’s infinite patience and goodness and grace.