Mon 10 Mar 2008
Think You’re Making A Difference?
Posted by tom cottar under student ministry
I discovered a new blog this morning via Marko. The long and the short of it is that Once A Youth Pastor has some good thoughts on ministry–and asks some of the same tough questions we’re asking among ourselves. In his Indicators of Longevity post, I found the following:
"2/3 of the students active in our youth ministry walk away from their faith within a year of graduating high school…What became evident really quickly was the effect of parents on the faith-development process. I realize that this entire process is a bit subjective and nonscientific, but what I discovered was enough to indicate a real pattern.
We lose 25% of kids who have 2 Christian parents and Dad takes the spiritual lead.
We lose 50% of kids who have 2 Christian parents and Mom takes the spiritual lead.
We lose 66% of kids who have a Christian Dad only
We lose 75% of kids who have a Christian Mom only
We lose 90% of kids who have no Christian parents"
While those statistics are, well…statistics, and we all know what Mark Twain says about statistics, I’d venture to say that they’d be pretty accurate nationwide, in and of themselves. At least, that’s the trend we’re seeing in the college years.
But what author Tony Waal points out is the common denominator of kids who’ve ’stuck with it’…they all had a spiritual mentor. (And youth workers didn’t seem to count!) Without exception, each one had a spiritual father (or mother) that they walked with in their journey. Every Timothy had a Paul. Every Paul had a Silas. And each one was OUTSIDE the youth group. Parents. Young adults. Senior adults.
I could rant again about the failures of a me-centered gospel or an isolationist Christianity which doesn’t embrace real community with the larger church. But until I can find a way out, I won’t.
I’ll just put it in my pipe and smoke it.
5 Responses to “ Think You’re Making A Difference? ”
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March 10th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Tom, since starting out in student ministry in 1985, I have come to realize many things about it. The most valuable thing I have realized is that the universal church did not have student ministry until the 1930’s and did quite well for about 1900 years without it. The second most important thing I have realized about student ministry is that over the last 80 years, students are doing worse spiritually than they done since the founding of the church about 2000 years ago.
Kinda wonder about that. Kinda makes you ask the question, have we taken spiritual responsibility away from parents and given it to ourselves therefore causing spiritual rebellion within God’s order?
I do not ask tough questions anymore, either.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Several things come to mind, and it is late, so don’t expect me to cite the references and if I wrong just say so and move on…in the conversation.
1. Some parents abdicate, abandon or neglect their spiritual responsibility.
2. Student ministries should function within the parents vision to fulfill their own responsibility according to Deut. 6, and elsewhere.
3. We need pastors and churches and parents and volunteers and other staff that all work to equip parents, encourage parents, and hold parents accountable to their biblical parental spiritual responsibility to their own children.
4. Some where, Mark Twain not withstanding, I seem to have read that the average teenager/adolescent needs 5-8 adults actively and specifically involved in their personal development for them to mature emotionally, socially and spiritually. Today most student ministries do well to average 1 adult per every 8-10 kids. Most schools average 1 adult to every 32.
5. Someone needs to stand in the gap for parents AND teenagers to see entire families come to Christ even if it is the students who end up leading the parents to the mercy seat to be reconciled back to the most holy God. Are we not all in spiritual rebellion up to that point anyway? Are we “to go and make disciples of all nations” except for a certain demographic.
6. Lets focus on building student ministries that all Christian parents to fulfill their primary role while student ministers help them (equip them for the works of service) and allow us to disciple and evangelize those students who are receptive to the gospel even when their parents are not.
7. Dr. Johnny Derouen notes that religions that institute rites of passage into the family life and religious practices create stronger, healthier members of society who stick to their belief system in adulthood and have the fewest prison inmates, school drop outs, suicide rates, etc. What student ministries across America have rites of passage built into them that don’t involve shaving cream, toilet paper, or the like?
8. I forget what 8 was for…
9. I wonder how much of the dropout rate has to do with usurping parents at all and more to do with how much we tend to spoon feed, coddle, or lecture teenagers rather than letting them lead from as early as possible. Who started most of the spiritual awakenings over that last few centuries? How young was David when he first appears as a God fearing, faithful, courageous warrior for the Lord of Hosts?
I will rest here for now, since most stopped reading two or three sentences in…
March 21st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
michael,
got any ‘rites of passage’ ideas? I think it would be great to develop something… seems that all we’ve got so far is either (a) chest-thumping campouts for guys (b)Martha Stewart-goes-Beth-Moore for the girls, or (c) middle schoolers getting shave creamed by high schoolers as ‘initiation’… With an ever-expanding season of adolesence (now as early as 11 and as late as 26-ish), I wish we could have a more definite welcome to adulthood.
March 24th, 2008 at 12:52 am
well I just got back from watching 10,000 bc with one of my college guys, so here are my immediate thoughts:
1. each male student must kill a woolly mammoth
2. each male student must journey through mountain blizzard, rain forest, and desert to bring male authority figure a mountain dew.
3. each male student must rescue his people/clan (i.e. Jews (already been done several times), the 3rd guy from the left on the evolutionary chart, or all band nerds)
4. each male student must rescue what the medieval types would have referred to as “muhlady”
girls must go through these steps:
remain pure as the driven snow
launch a thousand ships and all that stuff
be rescued
avoid dieing from scurvy, rickets, head lice, or consumption
that is all i got tonight bro. ask me at when i am at my best (technically between 10:33am and 11:49am [with the caveat that the window increases slightly if i had breakfast but exceedingly decreases if i had too big of a breakfast])
March 24th, 2008 at 9:56 am
hmmm….dudes have to ‘kill’, ‘journey’ and ‘rescue’.
we can make that happen.
but girls not dying from scurvy…? That’s anyone’s call.