Tue 18 Mar 2008
When I get there I have to stand
behind this guy who doesn’t get it.
Waiting not-so-patiently for my turn.
“Grande. Non-fat. Decaf. Americano.”
Seriously?
Everything in his life is probably decaf.
Diet.
Low-cal.
Non-fat.
Why is he even here? What does he want from You?
Sterile water with the false pretense of power?
Hot water and steam that lacks any real punch?
Impotent.
Finally its my turn.
“Venti. Tripleshot. Soy. Latte.”
Seriously.
What I want from You
What I need from You
Is not decaf.
What I want from You
Is Love that has more than just the appearance of power
More than some look-alike coolness to help me fit in.
I need real power.
Today I don’t care about cool.
Today I care about punch.
I care about Potency.
Your love, O Lord, is never decaffeinated.
Never low-cal.
Never diet.
Your grace doesn’t come in a non-fat version.
It only comes full-strength.
And after last night, I need something like that.
Full strength, kicking and punching my soul back to You.
A double-shot of confusing grace, please.
A triple-shot of Your love to get me back on my feet.
I’ve tried the decaf version before.
Hot water and steam that doesn’t even look like You.
Or taste like You.
Or give me that burn in my soul that You do.
Religion without the Punch won’t do anymore.
It doesn’t do a thing for me.
I hate decaf.
2 Responses to “ Decaf… ”
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March 18th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Never saw the coffee metaphor used before, but I get it and it makes perfect sense. I like my coffee cold instead of hot, but I want all the punch in it as well. I have actually ordered a triple shot of caffeine added to my triple hazelnut espresso iced coffee (I do not like the ice chunks in it either, just cold as ice for me). I also get mine without anything else added. I like it strong and black. I just thought I might get it next time with whipped cream on top, and then I can get mine black and white, seems to fit me to a tee or is that tea?
The last few weeks has left me teetering on the edge personally and spiritually as well. I do not know what is going on in the world. That which was so easy and enjoyable with God is now drudgery and dragging and completely without pleasure. I am starting to know exactly what the highly esteemed theologian Tyler Durden knew by instinct: You have to be empty to truly experience feeling. When other things take up the space inside the body that can absorb my feelings, then that is what those things do by nature, they absorb my feelings. I must be absolutely dead to self and empty me out every day before that which I want to be can actually be inside of me.
Until then, it must be an ice-cold triple hazelnut espresso with a triple shot of caffeine.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:23 am
As a good member of the Underground Coffee Mafia, I can tell you this: I’m over with a decaffeinated religion. And as a recovering Baptist, my experience is that we talk a good game about being ‘faithful to the Scriptures’, yet time and again, we fall into the trap Paul warns the church in Galatia. We voluntarily burden ourselves with a yoke of slavery. It is a yoke of impotent religious rules.
(and it’s not just Baptists. it’s part of the human condition to want to work to achieve a moral and religious ‘goodness’ by following the rules…whatever rules they happen to be. But rules are like decaf–they look good, but don’t pack so much punch as you might think. That’s why Jesus came to address the heart. It’s only by the work of the Spirit (which is grace) that I even get a clue as to do this right.
Be encouraged, jimmie. Tyler was right. “It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.”
Congratulations. You’re one step closer to hitting bottom.