If you’ve seen this, you know I’m a closet word freak. (Of course, by making that public, I’m pretty sure it’s no longer in the closet…). Nevertheless, there are certain words that need to be banned from usage. Blacklisted. Deleted. Put down like an old mare with a broken leg. Why? Because (1) everything has a shelf life and expires at some point, and (2) we can do better. Especially because of #2. 

So, for your consideration, here are five words that, IMHO, we should immediately walk away from: 

1. Awesome. Unless you’re a Valley Girl from 1982, you can surely do better. We toss ‘awesome’ around as if everything we see and experience is ‘awesome’. If that’s the case, then by sheer relativity, everything can’t be awesome (it would become ‘mediocre’ by default). In addition, if I am filled with ‘hope’, I become ‘hopeful’. If I am filled with ‘care’, I become ‘careful’. So? If I something fills me with ‘awe’, wouldn’t we describe it as ‘aweful’? And wouldn’t something that only partially fills me with awe (or fills me with ‘some’ awe), be described as ‘awesome’? In that case, I suppose the Dallas Cowboys have been truly awesome this season.

 

2. Obamanyms. You know, the obsession to create new, obnoxious words with the following formula: (Obama) + (whatever is on my mind) = Cleverness. You know what I mean. Obamamania. Obamanation. Franklin DelanObama. Fidel CastrObama. Obamessiah. Ok…maybe we can squeeze a little more outta that last one (at least until I finish writing the Obamessiah song to the tune of Tomlin’s ‘Jesus Messiah’. But then we’re done.) It’s just gotten Obamanoxious. 

 

3. Change. The great thing about any politician is his or her ability to take the simplest word and redefine it. Even un-define it to the point that no one really knows what it means anymore. We can make just about any slogan mean anything we want it to mean, as long as we stand on the right pedestal and parse our language in that direction. The only thing we have to fear is CHANGE itself…especially when it’s undefined. Granted, my spiritual gifts are cynicism and sarcasm. So, you can keep the change. I’m good. 

 

4. ‘The Bomb’. Despite what you’ve heard, I am not ‘the bomb’ like I might have been back in ’92. None of us are. Unless you’re an Al Queda sleeper-cell terrorist with 30 lbs of C4 strapped to your chest. In that case, you are the bomb. 

 

5. FAIL, and it’s cousin, EPIC FAIL. Go ahead. Right now. Put it in the clearance bin with ‘pwned’, ‘bailout’,  and ‘staycation’. My prediction is that we are already weary of FAIL because of it’s overexposure and short shelf-life and was doomed from the start. Just like Britney and K-Fed. 

 

 

 

Am I too harsh? Too cynical? What words would you add? Delete? 

 

Hmmm….I wonder if we need a list of evangelical Christianese words that need to be walked away from as well. Thoughts?