sarcasm


dork.gifLast week, I posted this. I was REALLY excited about seeing Neil Cole on February 27. In fact, I cut another meeting short, jumped in my gas-guzzling, not-so-eco-friendly truck, and cruised downtown to fight for a parking space to see him. I missed my exit and had to backtrack to the association office, but I found a great parking spot in front of the door. 

I was a few minutes late, but no worries. 

I busted in the room, with notebook in hand…to find only the support staff ladies eating lunch. Evidently, Neil will be here on MARCH 27. Not February 27.

Welcome to my world. 

 

I read recently that Buddhists believe there are 84,000 paths to enlightenment.

budcla.jpg

 

Now they can add one more to that list.

Enter: Buddha Clause.

 

 

…who made this possible. Thanks to everyone I selfishly used, and even for those who used me. Thank you to my wife and kids for their undying love and support. Thank you to all the bloggers and chatters who've agreed with me and flamed me and boycotted me. 

Thank you to those who've encouraged me to pursue myself and who've wiped their feet on my dreams. Thank you for the selfish indulgence of following my own dreams of personal gain and ego, rather than some lofty, noble cause like curing AIDS or pursuing world peace.

Thank you to TIME magazine for naming me their Person of the Year.

 

 

Sunday, December 3 marks the birthdays of two influential people in the culture of my life. I'm sending them both birthday cards…

ozzy.jpg

 

 

 

Ozzy Osbourne, rock icon…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 JimRMug.jpg

 

 

 

 

and Jim Richards, Executive Director of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention
 

 

 

 

 

To bring balance to the Force, view lyrics to Ozzy's Bark At The Moon, and the Baptist Faith and Message .  

homer brain.jpgOn Al Mohler's blog yesterday, he cites a Time magazine article on Student Ministry. Evidently the article has made a discovery that we've been talking about since the '80s: evangelical youth ministry is trending more toward substance and away from a "sugarcoated" approach. Something about youth ministry handing out big doses of Bible Study instead of the 'Coke and a Joke' philosophy of ministry that permeated the Reagan years.

Mohler points out that it is interesting that Time Magazine found the article interesting…

It's even more interesting that anyone thinks this is some kind of new revelation. 

robertson

I know you can use statistics to say just about anything. After all, Mark Twain was quoted on that. But, in the days where Barna and Gallup rule our instant-information society, you gotta chuckle at this…

Yesterday, I ran across this article about how FAT Christians are, particularly Southern Baptists. The culprit? Use of religious media. Holy 700 Club…are you serious?!? In fact, the research indicated "Fundamentalist groups are more prone to an absolutist approach to things such as smoking and alcohol," said Ferraro. "These groups, by and large, don't put much attention on (other) issues relating to physical health."

That women were 14 percent more likely to be obese if they used religious media resources, including television, radio and books, three or more times per week. And among denominations, the study reaffirms Baptists are most likely to be obese, regardless of where they live. I'm not sure if it's an indictment of how much we watch TBN and read Beth Moore books, or if maybe I should call Rick Warren and get him to put out a Purpose-Driven Treadmill…

But, here's the funny part.

This morning I received my copy of SBC Life in the mailbox. In the Mosaic section, I read this article that suggests that watching wrestling may lead to violence. I'm not sure what kind of rocket scientist it took to figure that one out, but I'm guessing he's on to something. In his research, he figured out a "direct correlation between teens who watch wrestling on TV and those who demonstrate violent behaviors."

Not to make light of either of these two serious problems, but God has given me a solution to it all. Really. It's a no brainer.

Step One: Make those in the first study watch massive hours of wrestling and UFC programming. That'll motivate them out of that religious-media induced coma enough to hit that Purpose-Driven Treadmill.

Step Two: Force-feed the wrestling junkies to read Beth Moore, listen to FFH, and watch the Left Behind video series. (The last one alone may be sufficient). Call it spiritual Valium, but I think it'll work. 

wrestler

Problem solved.