While training for the upcoming Austin Marathon, I’ve put together a runner’s wishlist for the holidays. I figure that if I’m going to do this, I should do it right. 🙂
1. Starbucks. ($-any amount) A no-brainer to keep me going and going and going. Black and strong, please. And keep ’em coming.
2. Frilly Pink Tutu, ($14). After all, this IS Austin.and because if you have never run a marathon while wearing a frilly pink tutu – especially if you’re a man, and doubly especially if you’re a large, hairy man – you haven’t lived. (Photo of Tutu Man courtesy of Fast Tracks Running Club.)
3. A Gross of Black Cotton Gloves ($0.15) No kidding, this site offers 100% Cotton Light Weight "Inspector Gloves" at 15 cents a pair. Seriously.
4.Vaseline ($4.50) Next to a dog, it’s a runner’s best friend. Apply liberally. You’ll figure out where.
5. Custom Running Shirt ($31 and up) Avoid looking like everyone else in the 13,000-people herd at the Austin Marathon. For as little as 31 bucks, you can have a professionally printed running shirt with your name or slogan, courtesy of RunningBanana.com.
5. Air Horn ($36) Nothing says "YOU ARE IN MY WAY" better than an air horn. Clear crowded sidewalks and narrow paths of pesky walkers, skateboarders, and oblivious powerwalking moms with this 120dB beauty.
6. Adult Diapers ($15) Because stopping for a potty break during a race can cost you precious seconds – assuming there’s a Porta-Potty there at all. After all, if it works for psycho, stalker astronauts….
7. Baggy Shorts ($40) You know, to hide the fact that you’re wearing adult diapers.
8. "Who Fartlek’d?" Organic Cotton T-shirt ($23)
• 4.8 oz. Ultra fine combed ring spun organic cotton, great for layering
• Vintage fit (size up for a looser fit)
• Made in the U.S.A.
*note: Fartlek, which means "speed play" in Sweedish, is a form of conditioning which puts stress mainly on the aerobic energy system due to the continuous nature of the exercise…see the entire wiki defintion here.
I am just a simple, stupid creature. 🙂